he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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