Its about making memories worth repressing
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
