D3 body, D1 cock
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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