I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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