At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
