I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
