Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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