she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
