so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
