Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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