Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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