Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
