before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
