just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
