You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
