How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
