You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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