Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
