marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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