It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
