11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
