As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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