Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
