i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
