The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
