Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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