I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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