my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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