haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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