hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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