Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
