so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
