Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
