david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
