My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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