your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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