i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
