i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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