I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
