Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Randomize
