you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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