For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
