It's Friday. Sex?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
