I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
