Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
