My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
