Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
