You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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