Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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