Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
