WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
