It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
