You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
